I'm A Deer in Your Headlights

LIVEJOURNAL IS DEAD!!!!! just talk to me!

Persistent lying or stealing
Recurring difficulties with the law
Tendency to violate the rights of others (property, physical, sexual, emotional, legal)
Aggressive, often violent behavior; prone to getting involved in fights
Inability to keep a job
A persistent agitated or depressed feeling (dysphoria)
Inability to tolerate boredom
Disregard for the safety of self or others
A childhood diagnosis of conduct disorders
Lack of remorse for hurting others
Superficial wit and charm
Impulsiveness
A sense of extreme entitlement
Inability to make or keep friends
Lack of guilt
Recklessness, impulsivity


tell me if this is close to me. this isnt anything that is a forward or anything its me colin being curious.

no, im not dead. i have just been lazy, and kinda busy. so my life lately has resulted in lots of 1-manda
2-movies
3-stress
so to start of with manda, im still going out with her, i dont know why she hasnt dumped me yet. but im glad she hasnt. very glad. but yeah, i have been either at her home, apartment, or she has been here every weekend for awhile. so that has me happy.

i have also seen a bunch of movies lately, little miss sunshine, twice! it was great, you have to go see it! everyone does! its amazing and happy and great. so yeah i enjoyed that. then Jackass 2 was also pretty good. but today i saw the departed and that was kickass, it made me proud to be irish again.

stress is due to profolio and things of that matter. nscc shit, i need reference letters. but ill get it done. i dont remember if i had mentioned jonquire, it wasnt that good but i met some cool people. thats about it.

this is a really pointformy thing i did so if anyone wants more details, except for about manda, thats secretive, then email me or talk to me in person.

Current Location: computer room
Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Music: the pump whirring

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Current Location: hell

well im in quebec so i figured i would write something. i wont whine and stuff because that kinda thing pisses the hell outa me. anyway to sum up ive seen a green day cover band, a band called porn flakes and a bunch of sepretist rap groups. also i miss manda. i really want to get back. i was like super happy before i left and now im kinda not so much. anyway thas all the whining ill do i promise. anyway this isnt really an entry moreso as a way for me to think opf myself as someone who doesnt just use livejournal so they can read others. yeah.

Current Location: jonquiere quebec
Current Mood: cynical
Current Music: the sounds of french and chinese being spoken

1. What does your LJ name mean?
my name, pretty dull, i should have put my full name and made my irish family proud! colin patrick dunphy!

2. What does your LJ head line mean?
i dont rememeber what it is but im sure its lame.

3. Elaborate on your default icon:
hahahaha, its my cult symbol! order 66. star wars people will get it. im kinda sick of it but i cant change it.

4. What's your current relationship status?
not single!! going out with the amazing and glorious manda morris!!

5. What exactly are you wearing right now?
blood brothers shirt that still smells like blakes house, and pants that smell like the co op and manda because all my patns are in the wash, one pair is actually in the freezer!

6. What is your current problem?
time managment, too much school time and work time, not enough time to be with people i like.

7. What do you love most?
right now? not having to work next weekend.

8. What makes you most happy?
a few things. im going to be mysterious and leave that one.

9. Are you musically talented?
not really. kinda guitar, kinda pianio, kinda go check out www.newmusiccanada.com/coasterproof

10. If you could go back in time, and change something, what would it be?
nothing, well nothing i can think of.

12. Ever have a near death experience?
tons, i should by all means be dead.

13. Name an obvious quality you have?
my ability to say the worst possible thing that could possibly be said at that point and time.

14. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
=arcade fire- powers out i sang it all day

15. Who will copy and paste this first?
haha no one

16. Name someone with the same birthday as you:
i dont know anyone who does, i think kenzie knows someone but i forget thier name, someone religious i think.

17. Have you ever vandalized someone's private property?
yes, the king of america, we pretty much demolised a house and when i tore off the wall paper written on the walls was "i am the king of america" it was pretty spooky.

18. Have you ever been in a fight?
not really

20. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
ummmm, i dont know, eyes maybe?

21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
i have never been to a starbucks

22. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
yes, no details

23. Say something totally random about yourself:
NO! i hate people who go, ohh look how random i am, im just going to say something goofy! fuck them!!!

24. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
some odd ones, some random kids said i looked like that guy off the movie who killed everyone. i dont know who that is, but umm yeah. oh yeah and i forgot everyone says i look like brad pitt, johnny depp, jake gynehall all mushed together. only better looking.

26. Did you have braces
nope. but i should
27. Are you comfortable with your height?
yeah, im just getting used to it, i used to be short

28. What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?
uhhhh i dont know.

29. Do you speak any other languages?
french and i can count down from 5 to 1 and then say hello in japenese.

31. Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
hahaha nope, i i wont ever need to im permy tanned

What kind of magazines do you read?
i dont really read magazine, i get bored with them too fast

33. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
nope

34. Has anyone you were really close with passed away?
not really, people who should have been close have passed away

35. Do you ever watch MTV?
Nope

36. What's something that really annoys you?
people, most people

37. Do you give random hugs and kisses?
not random, its all calculated baby

38. What's the latest you have ever stayed up?
two weeks, i have insomnia
39. Have you ever been rushed into the emergency room?
nope, never, i have never broken a bone, gotten a stich or a cavity

Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: the temple- jesus christ superstar

so this is like my first update since all that huge contreversy and stuff. so anyways lots has happened! I almost want to brag and say "hey look at me, i am now going out with the coolest girl ever" but i wont! well i might, a bit. and yes i am going out with the coolest girl ever! and yes im happy. hopefully i have less odd meetings with folks. my dad walked out of the woods wearing a bear hat and carring a sled and had funk blaring out of the speakers. it was pretty odd. then im pretty sure i made an odd impression on manda's parents. but im very happy these days. school is going ok. boring and tiresome but im doing ok grade wise so i can deal with it. i hate work an i wish i didnt have to go but i like the occasional pay check. but i wish they would stop putting me on weekends so i could do things then. before i had no reason to have weekends free but now i do. so the work issue is kinda bugging me. im going to our lady peace!!! which will be wicked. manda, kenzie, katelin, and i think spencer are going. so that will be a fun trip. and i think ill be going to wintersleep as well. so that will also be wicked! i think i made badminton singles, which is fun. so thats whats new with me. now everyone should comment so that i have incentive to keep this thing up.

Current Mood: groggy
Current Music: Evil- Interpol

the Asserter Test finished!

you chose AY - your Enneagram type is EIGHT. "I must be strong" Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective. How to Get Along with Me Stand up for yourself... and me. Be confident, strong, and direct. Don't gossip about me or betray my trust. Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side. Give me space to be alone. Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me. I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack. When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am. What I Like About Being a Eight being independent and self-reliant being able to take charge and meet challenges head on being courageous, straightforward, and honest getting all the enjoyment I can out of life supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me upholding just causes What's Hard About Being a Eight overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to being restless and impatient with others' incompetence sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it never forgetting injuries or injustices putting too much pressure on myself getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right Eights as Children Often are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit are sometimes loners seize control so they won't be controlled fugure out others' weaknesses attack verbally or physically when provoked take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings Eights as Parents are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted are sometimes overprotective can be demanding, controlling, and rigid Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages You liked the test? so please RATE it :-) You are not completely happy with the result?! You chose AY Would you rather have chosen: BY (FOUR) CY (SIX) AX (SEVEN) AZ (THREE)

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: ghost in the shell- aphex twin

now i never really wanted to get into the middle of this but now it looks like i have. in case nobody has taken the time to notice but some people in this school treat others like shit. and this jeff issue was just another example for how those people get special attention. it doesnt matter if it was a issue of circumstances, because if it happened to say, thomas or spencer or leeland or ian lake thompson or anybody else who doesnt play on a school team or really go to school events. even if it was a matter of circumstance people would be fighting to get them off. this whole issue is now an issue of how we are treated. somebody said it was all to get attention. HA! yes because i really love having hard candies rain down on me when i walk under the balcony. that is not a friendly school envioment. no other school i know of has this type of enviroment and its about time for a change. and thats just what i plan on bringing, and anybody who wants to help, and that means anybody, their help is greatly appreciated. a school where some people are meant to feel like the scum of the earth just because they dont fit the norm, and if some people want to think thats a cry of attention then maybe they should consider this. are they so insecure that they have to bring others down in order to feel good? are they so uncomfortable with their own sexuality that they have to mock others? like really who is crying out for attention, the guy walking quietly under the balconey or the twelve other guys yelling "faggot" and throwing muffins at him? that type of behavior has been acceptable at this school for too long. why are we letting ourselves be pushed into a role where we just try and stay out of range of the balconey. there is something seriously wrong. and about my previous article, i wrote on the web sure, and frankly now i dont care and am in fact happy that it got out. i also didnt mean all of the hockey team, im speaking in generalities due to the fact that about 89% of the people who read it dont live in our town. there are a few very nice and very cool people on the team but they are drowned out by the pricks.then there are the people who arent even on the team who are doing the most damage. and the free spirt thing, obviously a joke that was over some heads. good god. and yesterday we made change. yesterday i spent 140 minutes in the office with other people who realize that change is needed, changing the rules. we wrote up an entire new system that if passed will get jeffery off his suspension and back on the precious hockey team and at the same time help to bring along a new and better school enviroment that will stop this one that is such an awful atmosphere that the moment you step in that school you can feel your mood drop. this is not needed. everyone is entitled to their opinions but to have muffins thrown at you for it is just total bullshit. its about time somthing was done about it and although i was going to be content to just sit by and let things run their course im glad that matt beaton printed off my entry, whatever his intentions, becasue it put me right in the centre of it al and let me help bring on chnges that are much needed. its about time that our school had a more accepting attitude. i dont expect everyone to like get along in perfect harmony like a disney movie but what i plan on trying to help bring along is a school where you dont have to worry about wlaking to you locker and being pelted with food and having everything about you made fun of by a few dicks who think that they are better. its about time

Current Mood: irritated
Current Music: blindfolds aside- protest the hero

go to my myspace blog http://blog.myspace.com/38394427 or jsut go to www.myspace.com/deerintheheadlights and find my blog. good reading.

Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: pixies- fight club end theme

this will be copied and pasted into my myspace blog so deal with it. nothing new will happen from the time i type this to the type i paste it.

this may be my first update in awhile but now i have things to say. today we had our debates. i have never been so proud to be an atheist. never. the mere concept that gay marriage is up there on the sin list proves once again that the bible was written by a bunch of homophobic bastards who just wanted to help increase their power by outlawing what they saw fit as they saw it fit. the only reason christanity is where it is today is because the mostg powerful leaders used it to keep theri subjects in order. they crushed other religions so that they could not rise against them. i have plenty more on what the fuck is wrong with religon but my awful spelling and quick typing due to a rage induced hyper speed isnt helping my points. the reason i am so pissed is due to our gay marriage debates. i could say anything because i was in the crowd. kenzie and his group missed some good points but still did a good job and ripped the opposition lead by kyle to shreads. like all they had was its a sin, and that its gross. i seriouslyt just wanted to stand up, and scream soemthing alonf the lines of FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKk. i almost wish i was gay. elizabeth was the worst with "if guys can marry guys what can stop them from marring a dog" that was so offensive i cant stand it. to compare homosexualos to dogs! i seriouslt hope you regret that kenzie. you could have torn that to shreads. then later that day as i went to find coady to see if he could work i realized that i cant open a door in this school without getting a faggot. like angus said it to me, i really just wanted to walk over and say "hey angus how are you enjoy grade 10 math? love it enough to do it again? you fucking asshole" i realize people will probably read this but really do i care anymore, this day has shown me the extents to which i feared the school was plummeting. it has hit rock bottom in my mind. there is no reason to go to that school anymore. i am just going to finish and then flee like a rat fleeing a sinking ship. why do we live in a school where the smart people and the funny people and the people worth a damn are the misfits and outcasts. like there are some very cool people in our school but they can flaunt, they must hide or have hard candies thrown at them. what the hell is with that? its bad enough that the sports player heckle but like nothing pleases them. example, this one guy apparently has a very small dick, everyone knows, and then he heckles the kid with the supposidly very big dick. like isnt there something wrong with that. to most common logic it would go the other way around. like i know that on odd example to brinmg up but like its just perfectly shows the schools mentality. then like one guy can almost rape a girl and yet if a guy wheres tight clothing then there is obviously something wrong with him. thats enough. no one is reading. im just venting.

in closing Fuck the world

Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: choke me - the used

i think everyone knows this now, guess what songs, blah blah blah, haha ill post the answers in a week or so.



1. her legs are spead wider, her hair growing long, and her hips getting larger. - slide, the dresden dolls- guessed by kenziegunn, electronicangel, ______shesaid,

2. scarecrow did you hear about the priest they caught jacking off in the confession booth.

3.Come on, I killed you anyway,You remind me,Come on, face the gun Of someone I used to know

4. yeahhh, how long must you wait for

5. here i am alive at last.- taste of ink- guessed by kenziegunn

6. i was shivering inside, i was shivering inside.- Jealous Guy, John Lennon song, Elliot Smith cover- guessed by ______shesaid

7. just leave me alone, you ought to be proud that im getting good marks.- needle in the hay, Elliot Smith- guessed by ______shesaid

8. smell their flesh on everything left in this room chalk and scattered crayons on empty desks for weeks

9. Am I animal, vegetable, mineral or - ugh,I'm a bad ass, tell me I'm a bad ass- MSI - I Hate Jimmy Page- guessed by electronicangel

10. And every night when I try and sleep. I feel your hands all over my body

11. I tried to love you and I failed, but I have another plan.

12. whatever you are are at the end of the week, a doctor, a lawyer, an indian chief

13. retract the footsteps that brought us to this favor- A Favor House Atlantic, Coheed and Cambria- as guessed by ______shesaid


14. And the White Knight is talking backwards And the Red Queen's off with her head- Jefferson Airplane - White Rabbit - guessed by electronicangel


15. Use me Holly come on and use me

16. And when I get excited My little china girl says Oh baby just you shut your mouth- china girl - david bowie- guessed by kenziegunn, electronicangel, ______shesaid

17. Which came as some surprise I spoke into his eyes I thought you died alone, a long long time ago- man who sold the world - david bowie- guessed by kenziegunn

18. Now you’re doing the waltz with your murderer. Mediocrity is the killer.

19. she shacked up with the wrong surgeon.- doctor! doctor! - the blood brothers- guessed by kenziegunn

20. fuck fuck fuck fuck, i want to fucking fuck you, fuck you fuck johnny, i know the answer- no teeth thumbs up - gay for johnny depp- guessed by kenziegunn




keep on guessing

Current Mood: satisfied
Current Music: who knows i wont tell

yes i am coping my posts and putting them in myspace. haha yup im lazy as hell. its easier. yeah today sucked major ass. i had to stay home all day with the kids which sucked and i started to get so bored i spent like an hour tring to make a jump for my hill, which i did out of the bottome half of a snowman. that was interesting. then when we got in we found out that the cat was hit by a car. man we cuck with animals. oh well. the girls went into like total hysterics, while jake summed up best by saying, its a cat sad but lets move on. i let that guy watch too much family guy he will become a monster. haha so yeah today was busy.

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: hurt - nin

wel today was nuts. we had a talent show and i played the general from the monty python sketch "marching up and down the square" for those monty pything fans they know what one. its the one where a general yells at his troops and asks what they would rather be doing then marching up and down the square and they all give dumb replies like "id rather be learning pianio" to which he mocks them then lets them go. simple yet genius. so yeah i did that. it was loads o fun. pity kenzie didnt get to see it, busy with his girlfriend. stupid girls. im not bitter, or lonely, nope, not at all. not sarcastic either. haha then we have the dance. that was something. christmas ball, wasnt going to go but then i figured i would. kenzie forgot to sign in his girlfriend and so he didnt go. then neil convinced me to go by bribing me with the game boy he won at the co op party, oh yeah that ill explain that after. well then we went to the dance, i got all dressed up because i like to. then we got there and it seemed the drunk jocks were playing a game to see who could pick the worst song and then change it halfway through. so it sucked. i ended up in the bletches having a bomberman tournment with neil and pheboe. the co op party was nuts. neil won a game cube and a game boy, i gave kenzie an electric razor, i got a dvd player. lots of action.

Current Mood: groggy
Current Music: mad world- gary jules

well i dont like updating anymore. i dont know if i will. maybe ill start up again but nobody reads these anyways. and then people get mad at what i say or comment. so yeah i dont think ill update anymore. if you really wanna knwo whats going on in my life ask me.

Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: slipping away - donnie darko

busy few days so ill summurize it.

friday i woke up at four so i could go to halifax. we picked up nick and drove there in the pouring rain but the moment we got into halifax it stopped, proving that yes halifax is magical. then we went into a test drive for eletrical engeneering. this is a course nick might take but its not for me. first we were just shoved in a class. we were put beside as the teacher said the "class clown". very awkward. i had no clue what was going on. like no clue at all. it was all technical engeeneering terms. if they were doing math yeah i could get it. but any way after a hour of nonfunny comments by the "class clown" and all the answers supplied by the "class nerd" we were putin a third year lab. we were given i really tricky curcuit to make except i know nothing about it so i just sat there and nick gave it a shot. then the teacher from the class came in gave us a camera that people had turned into a strobe then left. nick kept trying and asking people what "flip flop" are, they are a type of resister by the way, but out circuit still didnt work so we just got up an left. we ran into the "class clown" who claimed to be a chocolateer. so then we fianly got out of there. we met up with moms friend and the got some food. mom and her friend went somewhere and nick and myself went to A&W. i have never enjoyed that place so much. well thast becasue i had been up since four with no food. the woman there just screamed like litteraly screamed out who ever had to get their food. holy crap it was loud and annoying. so then me and nick went back to mom's friend buisness to wait for them to get there. there was an old elevator which we decided to play on. first we had a race. nick in the elevator me running up the stair to see who could get to the top floor. i kicked his fucking ass. ha but then i tried to get in the elevator when the doors were closing, turns out the door dont have the motion sensing stop the doors from crushing you mechanism. they just keep going. so it caught the tip of my glove and frayed it, a few seconds later i would have crushed my hand. the we drove to futurshop where i got an ipod nano. yippie. then mom made the fatal error of saying phasors and the "swords" that they use in star wars. WRONG WRONG WRONG! then i went to kenzies and put over 600 songs on the i pod with plenty of space left. yippie. but by two in the morning i had sleep deprivation being awake for 22 hours with no sleep. so im pretty sure i said some odd things like that i would go around and pass out a rusume to all the girls talking about my positive attributes because they seem to be missing them.

then on saturday we went to antigonish to see a parade and a play. the parade was cold but fun the same. santas sliegh was pulled by stuffed dead deer. pretty morbid and funny. the play was good as well. interesting story. good cast and surprise ending. either way an interesting few days.

Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: techno on my ipod!!!!!!!!!!!

how many times a day to i have to do a strip tease? ok so only once. i presented my half asses english project where i just stapled clothes i made together. then attached some things that i like on it. when it came to the hot sauce i said well i guess this represtents how i like it hot and spicy. then someone cat called so i replied i dont think this will turn into a strip tease but then ripped off my suspenders all sexy like. ahha i enjoyed it. tomorrow im up to halifax for like two hours so i cant visit anyone. blahhhh. but i get to get an i pod and check out some courses but still no visiting. ummmm thats about it. im just gonna update for the sake of updating.

Current Mood: mellow
Current Music: whirrrrrr clink wirrrrrr clink

well i have little to nothing to update. umm, cake walks are now a daily battlefield as i get worked up over the injustice of me having taking up six space and paying enough money for me and some others to win and yet some little grade nine who isnt even cheating to win with their one little space. grrr. but i dont want the prizes, i almost got sick off macaroons and fig newtons, oh no i just want the fun of winning. help the starving children through gluttony thats what we are up to. but either way its fun. also my silent movie is great. hope i can edit it and not have to do it all over again.

Current Mood: groggy
Current Music: pure silence

my marks were ok, but not good enough. i didnt really hold true on my promise to work harder. i tend to just be content to just drift through life and school. im working on changing that. then today instead of going to sydney with kenzie and neil and natalie im sitting in moms office for the next four hours typing in names and things for her. then afterwards i get to take my beginners permit test. lets see how i do at that. does anyone have any suggestions on how i can get rid of the rumors of me being gay? even the puffter grade 10s and 9s are sure im gay. i wouldnt see a problem with it except its just another issue and i dont like dealing with it. oh well. we will also see how that pans out. it will be nice to have this beginners bit out of the way seeing as how mom has been bugging me about it for months now.; we shall see, we shall see. oh yeah and im learning guitar, i can now play "love rhymes with hideous car wreaks"

Current Mood: listless
Current Music: dfa 1979- dead womb

is bright eyes' studio in the artic? im curious, he sure is shakey though. well today i failed math, did poorly on chem and very well in english tests. i really should have studied. but i did work on my math project and i think ill do very well on it. this weekend i played the new sims game at spencers, its probably good that i dont have a game system becaue i could so get addicted to those games. then i had odd conversations with my mom where she encouraged me to go out to parties and get drunk and try and get with lots of girls. kinda odd advice and it creeped me out on so many levels, i didnt think it was possible. also since i read my childrens book out loud to the school, you get no credit andy rankin, i have been awarded "faggot of the year" this is my second prize right after hat of the year. im raking in the awards.

Current Mood: recumbent
Current Music: nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at a